Creating space – that is my latest pressing need.
As you get older, your kids start to leave home and at first, that feels awful and you miss them terribly, but then if you’re anything like me, you get used to having your own space…
And then they come back.
Over the last couple of months, my people have all drifted back. My son is back from uni. For good. My daughter’s move back into the neighbourhood. Just around the corner. My husband has just this week started working from home. In the same space that I work in. And then it’s the school holidays shortly and the others will be around all day every day too.
Much as I love my people, I’m beginning to feel that my space is being invaded. And I love my space. It panics me a little to not have anywhere to escape to.
However, I have a plan. I’ve found a way of creating space. We’re going for a bedroom reshuffle. My kids are used to that. I’ve persuaded them all (with various incentives) to move around in such a way that it frees up a good-sized room with laminate floor and mirrors on one wall – to be my new yoga studio!
I’m so excited! You know I find it hard to get round to home practice. It never felt right rolling out my mat in my work space – too many distractions. I struggled to make the space – physically and mentally. But soon I will have no excuse. To have a decluttered space to shut myself away and stretch out on my mat where no one is watching and where the dogs cannot attempt to crawl under my downward dog feels like total bliss.
It’s been puzzling me as to why I’ve found getting into a habit of self-practice so difficult. I’m a very disciplined person. When I commit, I commit. But somehow that hasn’t worked for me here. But I can feel a determination building inside me, rising to the surface. When I do this, I’m doing this for me. Not because anyone is watching or I have anything to prove. I’ll do it because I want it and I will make it work. There will be no agenda, no training plan. No fixed goals, no attainment targets. If I’ve learnt anything on my yoga journey so far, that’s what I’ve learnt. That yoga is all about listening to my body and working with my body and discovering what my body can do in its own space and in its ow time.
I will show up in that room on my mat for half an hour a day. That’s my commitment. At a minimum. That will be the first thing I do when I roll out of bed. Sometimes there will be opportunities later in the day for a different kind of practice. But I want that morning slot to become non-negotiable, to be so important to me that it becomes an essential part of my day.
I’ll keep you posted about the progress with creating space. And my progress with my personal commitment.
I’ll be honest, I promise.
Wish me well.