Until recently, many of us will have taken connection for granted. We went to work, we socialised, we belonged to sports clubs, we enjoyed gigs and cinema trips and spa days… We were surrounded by people all the time.
Suddenly, all that has changed. With social distancing and isolation in place to protect our physical health, it is our mental and emotional health that are now at risk.
“A deep sense of love and belonging is an irresistible need of all people. We are biologically, cognitively, physically, and spiritually wired to love, to be loved, and to belong. When those needs are not met, we don’t function as we were meant to.” Brene Brown
We took this for granted before. It just happened. Now we have to work harder to achieve it.
Because if we don’t, social isolation can take a toll on our physical, mental and emotional health. Just this week, The Guardian’s Adam Gabbatt wrote about this emerging situation as a ‘social recession’. Social distancing and isolation can detrimentally affect our resilience in coping with and bouncing back from stressful situations. However, positive connections can help us face the challenges of life with more confidence. So let’s look at five ways to stay connected at this time.
Connection with self
Self-care starts with self-knowledge. How can we make a priority of caring for our needs if we have not identified what our needs are?
We need to take time each day to check in with our bodies, minds and hearts. We need to develop an honesty with ourselves. We may not be reacting to the situation we find ourselves in as we might have hoped we would or expected we would. We have to be able to acknowledge that and accept that. We have to be kind to ourselves.
ACTION: SET TIME ASIDE WITH YOURSELF EACH DAY
Commit to spending half an hour a day getting to know yourself better. You may choose to complete half an hour at one time or in three ten-minute sessions throughout the day or whatever works best for you. Decide when, where and how you will do this each day (otherwise it will not happen).
You may choose to complete a body scan meditation or a simple yoga practice. As you move through the practice, rest your gaze on each part of your body in turn and listen to what each part has to say to you. There are many available online so try as many as you need until you find the right one for you. You may choose a still meditation practice, where you sit with yourself in the silence. You may choose to write your thoughts without judgement or censorship in a journal each day. Or you may choose a combination of all of the above!
Connection with family and friends
These are the people we are already in relationship with. We’re closely linked in some way.
A deep human connection has the power to transform a situation, to heighten the significance of the moment. When we have the opportunity to spend time in the presence of another person, be that physically or virtually, we owe it to ourselves and to that person to give this connection our full attention. We both need to feel heard, understood and supported by someone we care deeply about.
ACTION: ORGANISE A GET TOGETHER
We’re all new to all of this. Our diaries have been cleared for the foreseeable future. There’s currently nothing planned, nothing to look forward to.
So create an event! Book in a day and a time. Plan a theme and food, a dress code, a playlist. Invite everyone you love. This may of course have to happen remotely, a virtual get together rather than an actual get together, but the joy of the internet is that bringing people together online is easily achievable.
Connection with the divine
With all that is going on in the world right now, your connection with the divine may have taken a knock. Your faith in a benevolent force may have been shaken. Gatherings with others on a similar faith journey to you will have been cancelled. You may be feeling spiritually alone and adrift.
All of that is completely understandable. Don’t be hard on yourself. But don’t give in or give up.
ACTION: DIVE INTO A NEW BOOK
Having an understanding of and grounding in your place in the universe is important now more than ever before. And a good place to start is by learning from others.
Browse the Spirituality section in an online bookstore and see what you are drawn to. It may be something completely different to what you have considered before. This is a great time to expand your understanding with a new perspective of the divine.
When you start to read, take it slowly. Let the words sink in. Write down thoughts in a notebook or in the book itself. Take time to reflect on what you have read. Sit with it. You don’t have to agree with it all. Just trust that you were drawn to this book for a reason and allow it to reveal new truth to you.
Connection with nature
Look around you. We can trust in nature to do its thing. While all our human constructs are beginning to crumble, nature is springing into new life. The work of nature is reassuring and grounding. Lift your eyes from the constant news updates on your screen and allow nature to restore your soul.
ACTION: GET OUTSIDE EVERY DAY
Even with the guidelines around social distancing, getting out into open spaces to enjoy the fresh air is the ideal way to connect with nature. Make this a priority. Switch it up with a walk in a forest, on a beach, on a town moor, along a river, in the hills. You don’t have to do anything else: just put yourself there and nature will do the rest.
If you are unable to get outside, then bring the outside to you. Use fragranced candles, sprays or diffusers to bring the scents of the natural world into your room. Discover the power of natural stones and crystals to uplift and heal.
Connection with others
We live in a connected world. We’re all interconnected. And this type of social connection matters.
We were created to live in community. That’s the essence of being human. We’re all in this together. We therefore have a responsibility to each other. This is a time when reaching out and practising compassion will deepen and cement social connections. Being there for others and serving them in some way enriches our own lives, as we meet need, both physical and emotional.
ACTION: PERFORM AN ACT OF KINDNESS EACH DAY
Social distancing is making meaningful connections tricky at the moment but keep your eyes open for an opportunity to bless a stranger each day. Simply a kind word can be a blessing when shop workers, receptionists etc are receiving abuse from frustrated and anxious customers. A bag of pasta or packet of toilet rolls have become a real gift. Give the checkout assistant some flowers to say thank you for all their hard work. Check in on an isolated neighbour. You’ll have plenty of creative ideas of your own, I’m sure.
Stay connected, friends.
